Jun 28, 2024 | Individual Therapy

Creating Harmony & Lasting Memories on Family Vacation: A Family Therapist’s Guide

Morgan Whitely

Morgan Whitely

When you envision the phrase “Family Vacation,” are you met with nostalgic memories of summers on the beach or immediate dread at the thought of spending that much time with your family? Either way, we’re here to help you navigate the challenges while creating lasting positive memories with your family. Below, we highlight some simple strategies to help you thrive during your next family trip.

1. Set Expectations by Planning Together

Pro Tip: Hold a family meeting and involve everyone in the planning process. Discuss destination options, activities, and what each person hopes to gain from the trip.

Whether it’s just your immediate family or extended relatives, involving everyone can help each member feel valued and heard. For example, let each family member choose an activity for one day of the vacation. This way, everyone has something to look forward to and feels included in the decision-making process.

2. Balance Activities with a Flexible Itinerary

Pro Tip: Schedule high-energy activities like bike riding in the morning and relaxing downtime like reading on the beach in the afternoon.

Over-scheduling can lead to irritability and burnout. Accept that not everything will go according to plan and that’s okay. For instance, if a planned hike gets rained out, having a backup activity like visiting a local museum or having a movie marathon can keep the day enjoyable.

3. Communicate Openly Through Daily Check-Ins

Pro Tip: Implement a daily check-in at breakfast with questions like, “What was your rose and thorn from yesterday?”

Daily check-ins allow everyone to express their feelings and make adjustments to plans. This practice helps to address any issues early and ensures that everyone’s needs are being met. It can be as simple as a five-minute chat over breakfast.

4. Establish Boundaries and Roles

Pro Tip: Assign specific roles and responsibilities to each family member to foster teamwork, such as picking out restaurants, grocery shopping, or packing supplies.

Vacations often mean sharing close quarters. Recognize everyone’s need for personal space and downtime. For example, if siblings need to share a room, set a schedule for bathroom use to avoid conflicts.

5. Create Meaningful Traditions

Pro Tip: Take lots of photos and establish small rituals like listening to a specific playlist on the way to your destination.

Traditions can be big or small. For example, you could have a tradition of buying a souvenir Christmas ornament from each destination or taking a family photo at the same landmark each year. These rituals create a sense of continuity and belonging.

6. Address Conflicts Constructively

Pro Tip: Avoid talking in absolutes like “You ALWAYS do this!” or “You NEVER help with anything!”

Staying calm and composed helps in addressing conflicts constructively. For instance, if a disagreement arises about where to eat, take a moment to cool down and then discuss it calmly, ensuring everyone feels heard.

7. Promote Different Types of Engagement and Connection

Pro Tip: Practice device-free time to help everyone feel more present and engaged with each other.

On vacation, routines may change—bedtimes might be later, and meals might include more treats. Embrace these changes and use them as opportunities for special family moments. For example, having a no-phone policy during dinners can lead to more meaningful conversations.

8. Prioritize Parental Self-Care

Pro Tip: Remember Dr. Becky Kennedy’s advice: “Spending time away from your kids makes you a good parent.”

Finding time for yourself, even on a family vacation, helps you stay fully present and patient. Whether it’s a morning jog, a yoga session, or simply reading a book, self-care is essential. Make arrangements with your partner to each have some alone time.

Family vacations offer a precious opportunity to create lasting memories and deepen connections. By setting realistic expectations, communicating openly, respecting boundaries, and fostering a positive environment, you can navigate the challenges and enhance the joys of your time together.

Pro Tip: The goal is not perfection but to enjoy each other’s company and build a reservoir of happy memories that will strengthen your family bonds long after the vacation ends.

Happy travels!