I recently came across a video of a millennial mom asking her own mom a series of questions:

Did you play with us all the time and feel guilty if you weren’t enjoying it?
Did you plan enriching, age-appropriate activities every day?
Did you monitor sugar, screen time, and every milestone?

Her mom’s response was simple:
“No… we didn’t have time for that. You guys were fine.”

It stuck with me.

Around the same time, I was listening to Good Inside podcast with Dr. Becky, where Becky Kennedy shared that 80% of parents feel guilt about resting or doing something for themselves. 80%.

That’s huge. And honestly, I see it everywhere—in myself, in friends, and in the clients I work with.

It made me wonder… did moms in the 90s feel this way?

Because moms today are doing a lot. We’re thinking about emotional development, nutrition, screen time, connection, stimulation—often all at once. We have more information and more awareness than ever before.

And yet, we also seem to have more pressure.

Somewhere along the way, motherhood shifted. It’s not just about raising kids who are safe and loved—it often feels like we’re supposed to optimize every part of their experience, while also enjoying every moment of it.

And when we don’t? The guilt shows up.

But maybe not all of that pressure is actually necessary. What I see so often is this quiet belief: “I should be doing more.” More playing. More planning. More engaging. But more doesn’t always mean better.

Kids don’t need perfect. They need consistency, connection, and a parent who is human—not one who feels guilty for resting.

That line from the video keeps coming back to me: “You guys were fine.”

And maybe our kids will be too—even if everything isn’t optimized.

Maybe “good enough” is actually enough.

And maybe we’re allowed to enjoy motherhood—and ourselves—again, without feeling like we’re falling short.

About the Author:

Morgan Whitely, LPCC-S is the Clinical Director at Insight Counseling and Wellness. She specializes in working with children and adolescents using CBT, Adventure Therapy, Family Systems, and mindfulness-based approaches. She also works with individuals and families navigating anxiety, life transitions, relationship challenges, and stress. Morgan is passionate about making mental health support accessible and believes that you can make almost any experience therapeutic. She values helping clients connect insights from therapy to real-life experiences both inside and outside the office.