Introducing Allison Occkial, Holistic Wellness Coach

by Morgan Whitely | Dec 17, 2024 | Individual Therapy

Blue Christmas

by Morgan Whitely | Dec 1, 2024 | Individual Therapy

The holiday season often brings feelings of warmth, joy, and togetherness, but for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can also bring deep sadness and loneliness. The ache of loss feels particularly sharp amidst holiday cheer, and it’s hard not to resonate with the lyrics of some of the saddest holiday songs:

“I’ll have a blue Christmas without you…” – Elvis Presley

These lyrics perfectly capture the heartache many experience during the holidays after losing someone special. If you’re struggling with the weight of grief this season, you’re not alone. Here are a few ways to manage the feelings of loneliness and find moments of comfort.

1. Acknowledge Your Grief – It’s important to allow yourself to grieve, no matter how festive the world around you seems. You may feel sadness, anger, or even guilt for trying to enjoy the season. All of these emotions are valid. Sometimes, giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up can be a powerful act of self-compassion.

“I miss you most at Christmastime. And I can’t get you off my mind…” – Mariah Carey

This lyric echoes the painful reality of missing a loved one during a season traditionally spent together. Honor those feelings by carving out moments to reflect on your memories—whether it’s journaling, lighting a candle, or visiting a place that reminds you of them. This practice can create space for your grief rather than trying to push it away.

2. Create New Traditions– If old traditions feel too painful, try creating new ones in their honor. Maybe you bake their favorite holiday dessert, volunteer in their memory, or set aside a quiet moment for reflection. While the absence of their presence will always be felt, new traditions can help you find comfort and meaning.

“Christmas, baby, please come home…” – Darlene Love

While we can’t bring our loved ones back, we can find ways to keep their memory alive. Integrating their presence into your new traditions allows you to keep them close, even if it’s in a different way.

3. Reach Out for Support – Grief can feel incredibly isolating, especially during a time when everyone else seems to be celebrating. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the loneliness, don’t hesitate to lean on your support system.

“We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for the sake of auld lang syne…” – James Watson

Auld Lang Syne refer to the tradition of raising a glass with goodwill, friendship, and kind regard. This sentiment can remind us of the power in connecting with others during hardship. Sharing a moment of kindness, whether through a conversation, a shared memory, or simply being together, can lighten the emotional weight of grief. By allowing others to share in your experience, you open yourself to healing and support.

4. Set Boundaries Around Holiday Celebrations – Attending big holiday gatherings might feel overwhelming or even unthinkable after a loss. It’s okay to decline invitations, leave events early, or simply take a break when needed. Grieving doesn’t come with a timetable, and protecting your emotional well-being during this time is important.

If attending family functions, consider having an exit plan or sharing with a trusted friend how you’re feeling. Being open about your boundaries can help prevent further emotional strain.

“Christmas won’t be the same this year…” – Jackson 5

You’re right—it won’t be the same. And that’s okay. The holidays will look different, and it’s normal to feel that loss deeply. But amidst that change, there are opportunities for new experiences, new connections, and new ways to honor the memory of the ones you miss most. Please remember that it’s okay to have a “blue Christmas,” to feel the absence of a loved one deeply, and to still seek moments of peace and joy in their memory.

“Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear…” – John Lennon & Yoko Ono

Is This ADHD or Something Else? Recognizing the Differences in ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression

by Morgan Whitely | Oct 1, 2024 | Individual Therapy

In recent years, it feels like ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) diagnoses are everywhere. ADHD shares several symptoms with other conditions like anxiety and depression, making it challenging to discern what’s really going on. Understanding the differences is crucial, as the treatment and medication management for ADHD differ significantly from those for anxiety and depression.

The Overlapping Symptoms

ADHD, anxiety, and depression can all lead to difficulties with focus, restlessness, and even irritability. For instance:

• Inattention: Someone with ADHD may have trouble focusing because their mind constantly shifts between thoughts. In contrast, a person with anxiety might struggle to concentrate because they are overwhelmed with worries, while someone with depression might find it hard to focus due to a lack of motivation or energy.

• Restlessness: ADHD often manifests as physical restlessness or fidgeting, especially in children. Anxiety can also cause restlessness, but it is usually tied to nervousness or unease. Depression, on the other hand, might present as an inner sense of agitation rather than outward physical symptoms.

• Irritability: Irritability is another symptom that can appear in all three conditions. In ADHD, it might stem from frustration with the inability to focus or complete tasks. Anxiety can cause irritability due to constant worry, while depression may lead to irritability because of pervasive feelings of hopelessness or fatigue.

Why It’s Important to Get the Right Diagnosis

Given the overlap in symptoms, it’s easy to see how someone might misinterpret their experiences. However, it’s essential to determine whether these symptoms are rooted in ADHD or if they are primarily related to anxiety or depression. This distinction is important because:

• Medication Treatment Approaches Differ: ADHD is typically treated with stimulant medications that help improve focus and impulse control. However, these medications can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety or depression if those conditions are present but undiagnosed. Conversely, treatment for anxiety or depression might include antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications, which don’t address the core symptoms of ADHD.

• Behavioral Strategies Vary: Behavioral interventions for ADHD often focus on improving organization, time management, and impulse control. For anxiety, strategies might include relaxation techniques and cognitive restructuring to challenge irrational fears. Depression treatments often involve behavioral activation and cognitive therapy to combat negative thought patterns. Without a clear diagnosis, the most effective strategies might be overlooked.

The Role of a Mental Health Professional

If you’re experiencing symptoms that you think might be ADHD, Anxiety, or Depression, the first step should be meeting with a mental health professional. A thorough evaluation can help pinpoint the root cause of your symptoms. This assessment might include:

• A detailed history of your symptoms, including when they started and how they affect your daily life.

• An exploration of any other conditions that could be contributing to your symptoms.

• Screening tools or psychological assessments to measure the severity of symptoms and distinguish between overlapping conditions.

Once a clear diagnosis is made, your mental health professional can work with you to develop a tailored treatment plan. This plan might include therapy, medication, or a combination of both, depending on your specific needs.

Conclusion

While ADHD, anxiety, and depression share some common symptoms, they are distinct conditions that require different approaches to treatment. If you’re unsure about what you’re experiencing, don’t hesitate to seek out professional guidance. We have several clinicians on staff that specialize in working with ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression that can help point you in the right direction.

25 Creative Ways to Ask Your Child About Their Day

by Morgan Whitely | Sep 10, 2024 | Individual Therapy

Asking your child how their day was can sometimes lead to one-word answers like “good” or “I don’t know.” To get more meaningful responses and engage in deeper conversations, try these 25 creative questions that go beyond the typical “How was your day?”

1. What was the best thing that happened at school today?

   • This helps them focus on the positives and share exciting moments.

2. Did anything funny happen today?

   • Encourages them to recall and share light-hearted and humorous experiences.

3. Who did you sit with at lunch?

   • Prompts them to talk about their social interactions.

4. What did you play at recess?

   • Gives insight into their activities and friendships.

5. What new fact did you learn today?

   • Encourages them to think about their learning experiences.

6. Did you help anyone today, or did someone help you?

   • Promotes empathy and reflection on acts of kindness.

7. What was the most challenging part of your day?

   • Opens up a discussion about struggles and problem-solving.

8. Did anything surprise you today?

   • Encourages them to share unexpected events or information.

9. What book are you reading in class?

   • Invites them to talk about their current reading material and interests.

10. If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?

    • Helps them express any frustrations or disappointments.

11. What was the most interesting thing your teacher said today?

    • Encourages them to recall and share classroom discussions.

12. Did you try anything new today?

    • Prompts them to talk about new experiences and promotes resiliency skills.

13. What made you laugh today?

    • Focuses on the enjoyable moments and brings out a positive conversation.

14. Were there any moments when you felt really proud of yourself?

    • Helps them recognize and share their achievements, while building self-esteem.

15. What is something you’re looking forward to tomorrow?

    • Shifts the focus to future excitement and plans.

16. Who did you talk to the most today?

    • Gives insight into their social interactions and friendships.

17. Did you have any questions or confusion about something today?

    • Encourages them to share any uncertainties and seek clarification.

18. What was the coolest thing you did in [subject] class today?

    • Invites them to share specific details about their academic experiences.

19. How did you feel during [a specific activity] today?

    • Prompts them to reflect on their emotions and experiences during a particular event.

20. What’s one thing you learned today that you think I might not know?

    • Encourages them to share new knowledge and engage in a teaching moment.

21. Did you see anyone being kind or helpful today?

    • Helps them notice and appreciate positive behavior in others.

22. What’s one thing you did today that you would like to do again?

    • Focuses on enjoyable and repeatable experiences.

23. Did anything make you feel frustrated or upset today?

    • Provides an opportunity for them to express and discuss negative emotions.

24. What’s something you’re curious about after today?

    • Encourages ongoing curiosity and learning.

25. If you could give today a theme, what would it be?

    • Prompts them to summarize their day creatively and thoughtfully

By using these creative questions, you can engage your child in more meaningful conversations about their day. This not only helps you stay connected with their experiences but also encourages them to reflect and share in a more detailed and thoughtful way. Try printing this out and hanging it on your refrigerator, as a reminder. Don’t be surprised if your child catches on and asks you questions about your day!

Pro Tip: If the list is becoming too common after several use, sit down together and write new questions. You may be surprised with how creative your child can be and how your conversations can evolve!

Getting Back into the School Routine: Tips, Tricks, and Troubleshooting Meltdowns

by Morgan Whitely | Aug 6, 2024 | Individual Therapy

As summer winds down, the anticipation of a new school year begins. Transitioning from the relaxed summer days to the structured school routine can be challenging for both parents and kids. Here are some practical tips, tricks, and strategies to help ease the transition and troubleshoot potential meltdowns as your children head back to school.

Tips for a Smooth Transition

1. Gradual Schedule Adjustment

   • Start Early: Begin adjusting bedtime and wake-up times a few weeks before school starts. Gradually move bedtime earlier by 15-30 minutes each night until you reach the desired school-night schedule.

   • Consistent Routine: Establish a morning and evening routine that mimics the school day. This consistency helps children know what to expect and reduces anxiety. Pro Tip: Get your kids involved with helping to get breakfast ready

2. Organize and Plan Ahead

   • School Supplies: Involve your child in shopping for school supplies. Letting them pick out their own materials can build excitement and a sense of ownership and pride for their belongings.

   • Clothing Prep: Lay out clothes the night before to save time and reduce morning stress. Pro Tip: You can try doing this while it is still summer!

   • Meal Planning: Plan and prepare meals and snacks in advance. A nutritious breakfast is crucial for starting the day off right.

3. Create a Positive Environment

   • Talk About School: Discuss the positive aspects of school with your child. Share your own positive experiences and talk about the exciting things they’ll learn and do.

   • Visit the School: If possible, visit the school before the first day. Familiarizing your child with the environment can reduce anxiety.

   • Ask About Their Feelings: Encourage your child to share how they feel about returning to school. Understanding their feelings and concerns can help you plan and provide the support they need. Knowing where they are coming from may help you to plan activities and discussions that address their specific worries.

Tricks to Make Mornings Easier

1. Visual Schedules

   • Morning Checklist: Create a visual checklist of morning tasks (brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast) to help children stay on track without constant reminders.

2. Set Up a Homework Station

   • Designated Space: Create a quiet, organized space for homework and study. Having a specific area for schoolwork can help children focus and stay organized, plus it helps you to not feel overwhelmed by your kitchen table!

3. Incentives and Rewards

   • Positive Reinforcement: Use small rewards or incentives to motivate your child to stick to the routine. Praise and positive reinforcement go a long way in encouraging good habits.

Troubleshooting Potential Meltdowns

1. Identify Triggers

   • Observe and Listen: Pay attention to what triggers meltdowns. Is it the rushed morning routine? The uncertainty of the new school year? Understanding the triggers can help you address the root cause.

2. Practice Patience and Empathy

   • Stay Calm: When a meltdown occurs, remain calm and patient. Acknowledge your child’s feelings and provide reassurance.

   • Empathize: Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious or upset. Validate their feelings and offer comfort.

3. Problem-Solving Together

   • Collaborate: Work with your child to find solutions to their concerns. Involve them in creating strategies to manage stress and anxiety.

   • Teach Coping Skills: Equip your child with simple coping skills like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a break when they feel overwhelmed.

4. Maintain Open Communication

   • Regular Check-Ins: Have regular conversations with your child about how they’re feeling. Encourage them to express their concerns and fears. Pro Tip: The Internet has tons of ideas on different ways of asking your child about their day. For example: What made you laugh today?

   • Stay Informed: Keep in touch with teachers and school staff to stay informed about your child’s progress and any potential issues.

Transitioning back to school doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. By implementing these tips and tricks and by being proactive in troubleshooting potential meltdowns, you can help your child feel more prepared and confident. Remember, every child is different, so be patient and flexible as you find what works best for your family. Here’s to a smooth and successful school year ahead!